Bittersweet Day

It's been awhile but I was waiting for my post op appoitment with our fertility Dr. to update again.

This morning Kyle went to get his physical for our HomeStudy and to get another paper notarized by the Dr. office saying we are in good health to adopt. During the same time, I was at the post op appointment. Kyle's appointment went just fine, he just had to get a shot and needs some blood drawn tomorrow morning. The person who notarizes wasn't there today so that part wasn't finished, we were both pretty frustrated about it, but we will get it on Monday.

My appointment wasn't as much good news as Kyles. Pretty much she wants me to be on medicine and see me every month, and get a 3D ultrasoun to make sure my fibriods haven't returned. There are tons of things against at this point, more than I ever thought possible, so if you want more info I will share it, I just don't want to bore everyone with the details. What a tough decision this is... to take the medicine and fork out more money, or not take it and leave it up to God.  I feel like so many times before going to the Dr. I was trying to take control of this situation in getting pregnant. Obviously my way didn't end the way I planned on, so now Kyle and I are choosing to trust God in this. It doesn't make it easy, but at the same time it does. It's bittersweet.

As we were at lunch I just got this rush of emotion flow over me, that I'm going to be letting so many people down by not taking the medicine. We have so many people praying for us and thinking of us, but I don't want them to be disappointed in us or our decisions. We are not giving up, but to make less stress on ourselves, we are going down this road of adoption. We haven't closed off the road of pregnancy, but it's just not the road we are heading down at the moment. I also have been realizing, as much as I wanted to be pregnant and to experience everything, I ultimately just want to be a mommy. Either way, from pregnancy or adoption I'm going to be a mommy and that's what is important to me. :)

As the day went on, we talked to many people, went many places, and there were lots of bumps along the way. I tried to keep my cool and not get frustrated, and as I did that I found so many opportunities to talk to people our what we are doing. How great is that!? I feel like God placed everyone we came into contact with today for a reason. There were so many people interested in what we were doing, they asked lots of questions, and were excited for us. The people at the bank told us to make sure we bring in the baby when we get the chance. I mean, how cool is that?!

Today was bittersweet, but the more I reflect on it, it was sweet. Thank you everyone for the prayers and thoughts today, it was much appreciated.

On a lighter note: We have our HomeStudy on Saturday morning!! So quick, yay God! I will fill you in how it went probably next week. We are celebrating our nephews 1st birthday this Sunday and our anniversary on Monday. I love September!!!