Choosing to See

Yes, yes, I know this is the title of a really great book, but it seemed fitting today. By the way, if you haven't read Choosing to See, by Mary Beth Chapin you really should, it's so good. Be ready to cry, happy and sad tears :)

Anyway, Tuesday wasn't the greatest day I've had in awhile. So far, through this process I've done my best to stay positive and be truly happy with how things are going even if it's slow. Tuesday just wasn't one of those days. As Kyle and I talked about how we were feeling on Tuesday he said something to me, " maybe you should take this time to work on you." At the time it seemed a little hurtful, like maybe I wasn't doing enough or doing things well. (this is always where my minds goes, Kyle by no means meant it that way). I continued to think about this and really focus on that phrase.

So, I'm Choosing to See the good in things. It's a good thing we are waiting as long as we are, no matter how long it is: It gives Kyle and I more time to focus on just our marriage, it gives us more time to save up money, it gives us more freedom to do things on the weekends, it gives us more time to make memories to tell our children, it gives us time to work on ourselves, it gives us more time to know the Lord, it gives us more time to dream, it gives us more to serve, it gives us more time to get healthy, it gives us more time...

These may not seem like a big deal, but when I look at them, I realize these really are great things to focus on. To be focused on the positive, to be focused on making ourselves better for our children. There are parts of me that feel selfish for wanting to do these things. I also know that it's probably good to be a little selfish now, so we can be good positive parents when the time comes.

 I love that God brought Kyle and I together to do life together. Being with Kyle is something I never imagined, and he is such a rock for me with everything we have been through. I can't wait to see him holding our children, to be kissing them, and to hear him talk about them. We talk about our nephews or our little sisters probably on a daily basis, and I can hear in his voice how proud he is of them. I can see the light in his eyes when he talks about them because he loves them so much. I love hearing his laughter when we talk about funny things they have said or done. I can't wait to hear in his voice how proud he is of our kids, the light in his eyes, and the laughter that will be coming out of him with our kids :)What a blessing that day will be, and it will come at the perfect time.

Choose to See the good today, even if it is hard.