Today was probably the first day I ever felt completely out of place since being home with Zola. It wasn't a woe is me type of out of place feeling, just a realization I'll never understand what these mommas went through.
Most of the conversations were about are you going to have a second, are you preventing another pregnancy, how was your first one, etc. As tough as our infertility road was, and I was so sad and upset at times, I am so thankful I don't have to endure the other side. Bravo to those that do, but God knew I was meant to be an adoptive momma only.
Even though I missed the first 10 months of Zola's life, the initial bond and love is something I imagine what giving birth is like, minus all the pushing ;) When Kyle handed her to me, I was in awe. I couldn't believe I finally was holding my baby girl. Again, since I've never experienced birth, I'm guessing those moms anticipated it as much as I did. While we waited I imagined what she might look like, I dreamed of what she may become, her characteristics, all things that other moms do as well. So, maybe we aren't so different.
I will never experience a pregnancy, but as of right now they haven't experienced the amazing bond, the love you can have for a child that has not an ounce of your blood, and the trust it took to get where we are. I'm so thankful and proud where God has steered our path. I will never look back and be saddened, or wish for something that didn't happen. I am proud.
Most of the conversations were about are you going to have a second, are you preventing another pregnancy, how was your first one, etc. As tough as our infertility road was, and I was so sad and upset at times, I am so thankful I don't have to endure the other side. Bravo to those that do, but God knew I was meant to be an adoptive momma only.
Even though I missed the first 10 months of Zola's life, the initial bond and love is something I imagine what giving birth is like, minus all the pushing ;) When Kyle handed her to me, I was in awe. I couldn't believe I finally was holding my baby girl. Again, since I've never experienced birth, I'm guessing those moms anticipated it as much as I did. While we waited I imagined what she might look like, I dreamed of what she may become, her characteristics, all things that other moms do as well. So, maybe we aren't so different.
I will never experience a pregnancy, but as of right now they haven't experienced the amazing bond, the love you can have for a child that has not an ounce of your blood, and the trust it took to get where we are. I'm so thankful and proud where God has steered our path. I will never look back and be saddened, or wish for something that didn't happen. I am proud.
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