I'm guessing some adoptive mommas have heard of Created for Care, but if you haven't you can check it out here. Briefly put, it is a weekend retreat with adoptive mommas to encourage us. I finally get to go this year!! The past 2 years I have wanted to go, but last year I was on the road of recovery from my hysterectomy and anxiously waiting for our picture of Zola.
It is strange to me thinking that almost 1 year ago, we were preparing for such a life changing operation. I've said this in a lot of posts, but it truly was the best choice for our family. There are moments though when I stop and think, pregnancy will never be something I will experience. Then following those thoughts, these come next, there are so many that don't experience what I have with Zola.
Today as we were celebrating my mother in laws birthday, talking about our children, I chimed in with, " I never knew I could love something so much." It is truly amazing. There is not a single moment she doesn't feel like mine. She is my daughter and somehow I am lucky enough to be her mom.
Reflecting on where Kyle and I both were a year ago, seems almost surreal. It was a dark time for us. On the outside we were fine, we did our daily routines, but we were aching for that picture. I remember waking up in the recovery room very cold, shivering I think, but the first words out of my mouth were, "did we get a picture of our little girl?" I'm sure the nurse was very confused, but I thought for sure we would be matched that day. I began thinking everyday was "the day" during recovery, and that was hard. I was on the couch, almost only thinking of our daughter. I remember dreading the weekend because that meant nothing was going to happen. I was on the phone with our agency, other adoptive mommas, emailing our agency with no end in sight. I was obsessing over something completely out of my control. Like, I said, it was a dark time.
If anyone out there is waiting, I just want to encourage you, it will happen. Those words were said to me, texted to me, emailed to me, anyway of communication really. I'll be perfectly honest and say that I was starting to not believe them. It felt like forever. It felt impossible. We prayed every single night for our match. Looking back on it, I'm so grateful it wasn't any other day than March 21st. It was Zola. God knows our hearts, He truly understands what the wait is like. He waits daily for His children to come home to Him. It will happen. Stay strong, lean into people who have been down this road, even if you think they are full of bologne and don't understand how you feel. (They usualy do)
Even though it hasn't been a year since our match with Zola, an entire year sure does make a difference. That little girl sleeping in her bed is home with us, and loved so much. Not just by our family, but her Ethiopia family too.
It is strange to me thinking that almost 1 year ago, we were preparing for such a life changing operation. I've said this in a lot of posts, but it truly was the best choice for our family. There are moments though when I stop and think, pregnancy will never be something I will experience. Then following those thoughts, these come next, there are so many that don't experience what I have with Zola.
Today as we were celebrating my mother in laws birthday, talking about our children, I chimed in with, " I never knew I could love something so much." It is truly amazing. There is not a single moment she doesn't feel like mine. She is my daughter and somehow I am lucky enough to be her mom.
Reflecting on where Kyle and I both were a year ago, seems almost surreal. It was a dark time for us. On the outside we were fine, we did our daily routines, but we were aching for that picture. I remember waking up in the recovery room very cold, shivering I think, but the first words out of my mouth were, "did we get a picture of our little girl?" I'm sure the nurse was very confused, but I thought for sure we would be matched that day. I began thinking everyday was "the day" during recovery, and that was hard. I was on the couch, almost only thinking of our daughter. I remember dreading the weekend because that meant nothing was going to happen. I was on the phone with our agency, other adoptive mommas, emailing our agency with no end in sight. I was obsessing over something completely out of my control. Like, I said, it was a dark time.
If anyone out there is waiting, I just want to encourage you, it will happen. Those words were said to me, texted to me, emailed to me, anyway of communication really. I'll be perfectly honest and say that I was starting to not believe them. It felt like forever. It felt impossible. We prayed every single night for our match. Looking back on it, I'm so grateful it wasn't any other day than March 21st. It was Zola. God knows our hearts, He truly understands what the wait is like. He waits daily for His children to come home to Him. It will happen. Stay strong, lean into people who have been down this road, even if you think they are full of bologne and don't understand how you feel. (They usualy do)
Even though it hasn't been a year since our match with Zola, an entire year sure does make a difference. That little girl sleeping in her bed is home with us, and loved so much. Not just by our family, but her Ethiopia family too.
No comments:
Post a Comment