Again, it's been awhile, but we are still in such the waiting game stage, that there isn't a ton to post about when it comes to the adoption. We are still in the process of updating our home study, but we are waiting for a little longer because of another opportunity. I unfortunately can't say anything about it at the moment, but as soon as I know more, I can let some other people know. :)
Today, Kyle is on his way to Kentucky to visit family and I'm really going to miss seeing all of them. I am in Kokomo visiting with my grandma and aunt who are in from Ohio. I won't be able to see them probably until January, just because the holidays get so crazy. So, we decided to both visit as much family as possible today. I am away from Kyle daily because of work, but today as I was driving to Kokomo I started to realize how much I truly missed being with him. Now, I drive to Kokomo a lot by myself, but he is usually at work or something. I was thinking just how truly blessed I am to have the companionship of Kyle.
When I was growing up, all I wanted was to have children. I just wanted to be pregnant, and have kids. There were many times I honestly didn't think I would get married, but I knew I wanted to have children. Yes, yes I know... that shouldn't have been a thought without the thought of a husband. That's just how I was wired to be honest. Now, after all Kyle and I have gone through with the infertility and this whole adoption process, I could NOT imagine doing any of this without Kyle. We of course still want children so so much and we are so excited to build our family this way. But if for some reason we weren't able to build our family through adoption, then I would be happy just to be with Kyle. He makes everyday better. I know how much we love each other, have respect for each other, and just have so much fun together.
A lot of our conversations revolve around kids, whether it's our sisters, nephews, or friends. We love everything about kids and enjoy talking about kids. When we have these conversations I can just see how wonderful Kyle is going to be as a dad. He is a wonderful uncle and brother and friend, so I can't imagine what he is going to be like as a dad. I can't wait to go down this road of parenthood with my companion. :)
Happy day off tomorrow!!
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Guardrails
It's been awhile, but honestly there hasn't been a whole lot going on with the adoption stuff. Although, we are still climbing in our numbers. I'm sure we still have quite a wait, but I have to remind myself that we haven't even been on the waiting list for a year yet, and we are a lot further than I really expected. When we first got on, I was hoping we would have our kiddos home by Christmas, but I came to a quick realization that wasn't going to happen. That's okay though. Of course I have my days where I don't think it's okay, but majority of the time, I know that it is all in God's timing. (So tough to learn...)
We are beginning to update some paperwork for our Dossier. We by no means have to re-do any of it, just updating our homestudy. A lot of that was because I changed jobs, so we have to release that information to our homestudy agency.
Kyle and I started listening to a sermon series by Andy Stanley. He is from GA, and he is just an amazing speaker that God has truly blessed with wisdom and a way of speaking right into people's hearts. The sermon series is called Guardrails. We are really liking it and it has sparked some really great conversations for us. One of the main points in the first sermon was playing with that line of sin. Now, I know we all play with that line on a daily basis. However, the examples were a little bit more than I was thinking, like drinking, lust, etc.
Kyle asked me what mine would be and I said honestly, I play with the line of not thinking I need to be in the Word as much. I listen to Christian radio, I read Christian books, I go to church, I went to a Christian elementary school and college and I know a lot of the stories. This might not seem like a big deal, but it is HUGE deal. God's Word isn't just stories, but it's a daily guide for us to use. I think so often we forget that, and just pray about things. Which is great, but we also need to be seeking God's Word wit that. With that being said, I'm going to strive to get into the routine of being in the Word daily. I'm also grateful that I have this time while we wait for our kids. I want my children to see me in the Word, I want them to see how important it really is. Kyle on the other hand is leaps and bounds ahead of me and I couldn't be more proud of him.
So today, I challenge you to think and think hard about what line of sin you are playing with. I also challenge you to listen to the sermon series by Andy Stanley, and see how much you grow. Kyle and I are actually going to do the study for the series and we are so excited :)
Blessings to all today!!!
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Choosing to See
Yes, yes, I know this is the title of a really great book, but it seemed fitting today. By the way, if you haven't read Choosing to See, by Mary Beth Chapin you really should, it's so good. Be ready to cry, happy and sad tears :)
Anyway, Tuesday wasn't the greatest day I've had in awhile. So far, through this process I've done my best to stay positive and be truly happy with how things are going even if it's slow. Tuesday just wasn't one of those days. As Kyle and I talked about how we were feeling on Tuesday he said something to me, " maybe you should take this time to work on you." At the time it seemed a little hurtful, like maybe I wasn't doing enough or doing things well. (this is always where my minds goes, Kyle by no means meant it that way). I continued to think about this and really focus on that phrase.
So, I'm Choosing to See the good in things. It's a good thing we are waiting as long as we are, no matter how long it is: It gives Kyle and I more time to focus on just our marriage, it gives us more time to save up money, it gives us more freedom to do things on the weekends, it gives us more time to make memories to tell our children, it gives us time to work on ourselves, it gives us more time to know the Lord, it gives us more time to dream, it gives us more to serve, it gives us more time to get healthy, it gives us more time...
These may not seem like a big deal, but when I look at them, I realize these really are great things to focus on. To be focused on the positive, to be focused on making ourselves better for our children. There are parts of me that feel selfish for wanting to do these things. I also know that it's probably good to be a little selfish now, so we can be good positive parents when the time comes.
I love that God brought Kyle and I together to do life together. Being with Kyle is something I never imagined, and he is such a rock for me with everything we have been through. I can't wait to see him holding our children, to be kissing them, and to hear him talk about them. We talk about our nephews or our little sisters probably on a daily basis, and I can hear in his voice how proud he is of them. I can see the light in his eyes when he talks about them because he loves them so much. I love hearing his laughter when we talk about funny things they have said or done. I can't wait to hear in his voice how proud he is of our kids, the light in his eyes, and the laughter that will be coming out of him with our kids :)What a blessing that day will be, and it will come at the perfect time.
Choose to See the good today, even if it is hard.
Anyway, Tuesday wasn't the greatest day I've had in awhile. So far, through this process I've done my best to stay positive and be truly happy with how things are going even if it's slow. Tuesday just wasn't one of those days. As Kyle and I talked about how we were feeling on Tuesday he said something to me, " maybe you should take this time to work on you." At the time it seemed a little hurtful, like maybe I wasn't doing enough or doing things well. (this is always where my minds goes, Kyle by no means meant it that way). I continued to think about this and really focus on that phrase.
So, I'm Choosing to See the good in things. It's a good thing we are waiting as long as we are, no matter how long it is: It gives Kyle and I more time to focus on just our marriage, it gives us more time to save up money, it gives us more freedom to do things on the weekends, it gives us more time to make memories to tell our children, it gives us time to work on ourselves, it gives us more time to know the Lord, it gives us more time to dream, it gives us more to serve, it gives us more time to get healthy, it gives us more time...
These may not seem like a big deal, but when I look at them, I realize these really are great things to focus on. To be focused on the positive, to be focused on making ourselves better for our children. There are parts of me that feel selfish for wanting to do these things. I also know that it's probably good to be a little selfish now, so we can be good positive parents when the time comes.
I love that God brought Kyle and I together to do life together. Being with Kyle is something I never imagined, and he is such a rock for me with everything we have been through. I can't wait to see him holding our children, to be kissing them, and to hear him talk about them. We talk about our nephews or our little sisters probably on a daily basis, and I can hear in his voice how proud he is of them. I can see the light in his eyes when he talks about them because he loves them so much. I love hearing his laughter when we talk about funny things they have said or done. I can't wait to hear in his voice how proud he is of our kids, the light in his eyes, and the laughter that will be coming out of him with our kids :)What a blessing that day will be, and it will come at the perfect time.
Choose to See the good today, even if it is hard.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Wishing I was Younger
I should really be enjoying my twenties. I hear they go fast, you learn a lot, you'll be in the best shape of your life, sounds pretty good to me. However, what most people don't tell you is how much pressure you have from the society that you should be a parent, or at least pregnant.
Today I was talking with someone where my mom and I get our haircut and we were talking about all that we have been through medically. We got on the subject of adoption, and I told her that I'm sure I'm going to get a lot of " why didn't you have your own children?" I should really be nice about it, but I'm sure I'll get to the point and just say, I can't bear children, and these are my own children. Let's be a little more open minded here people. Not 2 minutes later someone overheard that I was adopting, and then asked "are you going to have your own?" I mean seriously?! Not everyone is blessed with fertility, sorry I'm not one of them.
On my way home, I got an update that there was a referral today for an infant boy. Usually I get so excited and highlight a box from my list I made. Not today, I'm actually not excited at all. It took the family 1 year and 8 months for the referral. The baby isn't home yet, they haven't met him yet... there is still a lot to do and a lot of waiting.
My mother in law always tells me, adoption is not for the weak of heart. She is so right, and honestly I want to give up right now. I never in a million years wanted to wait to be a mother until I was almost 30. I guess that's when everyone laughs, and says well its not your plan, its Gods. Of course, everyone is right, but right now... I'm not too fond of this plan He has going in making me wait. This will be one of those times when I look back and say, boy I'm so glad God had us wait, or we could have missed out on whatever that may be. I can't see it now, which is probably the point, but it still doesn't make it easy.
I obviously don't know what it's like to be a mother yet, but there are so many people that just want their children home. There is no doubt that I'm sure they do, but most of them have a family already. They have kids, they have distractions. I wish now more than ever that I had that distraction. I wish there was a rule that if you don't have children you jump to the top of the list. I wish my babies were home right now and I didn't have to feel this way.
Wishing won't make anything happen though. I need to pray and pray hard, because God is a big God and He can still work miracles. I have to believe that right now and honestly hold on for dear life with that truth, because today it's hard.
Today I was talking with someone where my mom and I get our haircut and we were talking about all that we have been through medically. We got on the subject of adoption, and I told her that I'm sure I'm going to get a lot of " why didn't you have your own children?" I should really be nice about it, but I'm sure I'll get to the point and just say, I can't bear children, and these are my own children. Let's be a little more open minded here people. Not 2 minutes later someone overheard that I was adopting, and then asked "are you going to have your own?" I mean seriously?! Not everyone is blessed with fertility, sorry I'm not one of them.
On my way home, I got an update that there was a referral today for an infant boy. Usually I get so excited and highlight a box from my list I made. Not today, I'm actually not excited at all. It took the family 1 year and 8 months for the referral. The baby isn't home yet, they haven't met him yet... there is still a lot to do and a lot of waiting.
My mother in law always tells me, adoption is not for the weak of heart. She is so right, and honestly I want to give up right now. I never in a million years wanted to wait to be a mother until I was almost 30. I guess that's when everyone laughs, and says well its not your plan, its Gods. Of course, everyone is right, but right now... I'm not too fond of this plan He has going in making me wait. This will be one of those times when I look back and say, boy I'm so glad God had us wait, or we could have missed out on whatever that may be. I can't see it now, which is probably the point, but it still doesn't make it easy.
I obviously don't know what it's like to be a mother yet, but there are so many people that just want their children home. There is no doubt that I'm sure they do, but most of them have a family already. They have kids, they have distractions. I wish now more than ever that I had that distraction. I wish there was a rule that if you don't have children you jump to the top of the list. I wish my babies were home right now and I didn't have to feel this way.
Wishing won't make anything happen though. I need to pray and pray hard, because God is a big God and He can still work miracles. I have to believe that right now and honestly hold on for dear life with that truth, because today it's hard.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Mother's Day
Last year around Mother's Day was just another reminder that I wasn't yet a mother... It seemed like it wasn't ever going to happen, at least not the way we were planning it to happen. At that point though, I had no idea what God was planning and what He had in store for the upcoming year.
I'm sure many of you would say I'm not a mom yet, and I guess in a way it's true. I don't have my children here with me everyday, I'm not taking care of them yet, and they aren't even on US soil. I would have a different opinion though. I am a mother, no I'm not going to be getting cute little handmade presents from my children, and I won't be celebrated like all the other mother's right now, but I am a mom to 2 beautiful children. I pray for them all the time, I think about them all the time, I dream about their lives, and I am constantly wondering where they are while I wait for them to be mine. I am a mother to 2 children who I don't even know yet, and they don't know me. I pray that they know someone is on their way to becoming their mommy and someone who is going to love them so so much and never let go, and always take care of them.
There are often times when I make up these fairy tales of what life is going to be like when we bring our children home, and I have created one even for Mother's Day. It is just a special day that I get to spend with my kids, and they make me things, and they tell me how much they love me. This is fun for me, but I don't want to dream anymore, and I hope I don't create these stories that don't happen the way I invision... I hope they turn out just the way they are supposed to, perfectly. Having our children home and with me will be enough of a Mother's Day present next year, I won't care about the little gifts or my special day. Everyday is going to be a special day with having those children safe in our arms. I hope we tell each other everyday how much we love each other, I hope we play together everyday, and I hope we make everyday special in some way. I want to celebrate their lives and our family not just on Mother's Day, but everyday.
I am excited to celebrate all the mommies out there tomorrow, and I am so thankful for all the moms who have had an impact on me. I truly hope I can impact my children and even their friends the same way.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
I'm sure many of you would say I'm not a mom yet, and I guess in a way it's true. I don't have my children here with me everyday, I'm not taking care of them yet, and they aren't even on US soil. I would have a different opinion though. I am a mother, no I'm not going to be getting cute little handmade presents from my children, and I won't be celebrated like all the other mother's right now, but I am a mom to 2 beautiful children. I pray for them all the time, I think about them all the time, I dream about their lives, and I am constantly wondering where they are while I wait for them to be mine. I am a mother to 2 children who I don't even know yet, and they don't know me. I pray that they know someone is on their way to becoming their mommy and someone who is going to love them so so much and never let go, and always take care of them.
There are often times when I make up these fairy tales of what life is going to be like when we bring our children home, and I have created one even for Mother's Day. It is just a special day that I get to spend with my kids, and they make me things, and they tell me how much they love me. This is fun for me, but I don't want to dream anymore, and I hope I don't create these stories that don't happen the way I invision... I hope they turn out just the way they are supposed to, perfectly. Having our children home and with me will be enough of a Mother's Day present next year, I won't care about the little gifts or my special day. Everyday is going to be a special day with having those children safe in our arms. I hope we tell each other everyday how much we love each other, I hope we play together everyday, and I hope we make everyday special in some way. I want to celebrate their lives and our family not just on Mother's Day, but everyday.
I am excited to celebrate all the mommies out there tomorrow, and I am so thankful for all the moms who have had an impact on me. I truly hope I can impact my children and even their friends the same way.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Passion
Well since there isn't always a lot to update on about our babies, I thought I could just update and give a little insight on what's going on while we wait :)
We have moved up a couple spots on our lists, but not a whole lot... Things are moving pretty slow over there right now. The Southern Region has pretty much been given up on, but there can always be hope and prayer for that to open up, because there are a lot of kiddos that need some mommies and daddies. Someone from our agency is going to ET sometime this week probably, to make sure things are going smoothly and as quickly as possible on their side. There are some kids in one of the orphanages, but they don't have their paperwork yet... moving on Africa time is what I'm presuming is going on. So hopefully everything will get worked out there and we can see some movement on that list!! :)
On to what's been going on. We are teaching a class at our church on Thursday's at 6:30 based upon a book called Orphanology. It went well last week, and we are hoping for the same tonight. There have been good conversations and I'm so proud of Kyle for being open to this and being a total rockstar last week. On May 18th, there is an adoption seminar at a church around the area in Zionsville, and we are going to that. I'm so so excited to go and meet some families, and learn more about what our life could and will be like. Our neighbor is also going, so we are looking forward to that as well. :)
That kind of stuff just gets me excited, I want to go to every conference, every state just to meet people and their families, anything to be involved in this world we are going to be in. I've been really trying to find out what my passion is lately. My number one passion is to be a mommy and be a good one. I feel like that's what God has made me to be. But... I can't do that right now. Not yet anyway, so I'm searching who I am and what I'm supposed to be and be doing. I love dreaming and dreaming big, but it sure can be scary at times. I want to learn how to rely on God and listen to Him and what He is telling me to do. I'm hoping and praying that God reveals to me what I'm supposed to be doing while I wait for my babies.
I'm often jealous of Kyle because he is such a natural at what he does, and he is so incredibly talented in what he does. Now, don't get any ideas in asking what exactly he does, because I can't explain it, but I do know he is amazing at it, and his co-workers and even his CEO think very highly of him. They are honored to be working with him. I love where he works too... almost all the men there are Christians, they have great families, and are just such a blessing to be around. I'm so beyond proud of my husband and all that he does for our family now and our family to be. He plans and provides in ways I never could.
As I start down this new journey I hope I learn a lot about what's around me, the people around me, and especially who I am. I know God has wired me to be who I am, I just need to find my place.
We have moved up a couple spots on our lists, but not a whole lot... Things are moving pretty slow over there right now. The Southern Region has pretty much been given up on, but there can always be hope and prayer for that to open up, because there are a lot of kiddos that need some mommies and daddies. Someone from our agency is going to ET sometime this week probably, to make sure things are going smoothly and as quickly as possible on their side. There are some kids in one of the orphanages, but they don't have their paperwork yet... moving on Africa time is what I'm presuming is going on. So hopefully everything will get worked out there and we can see some movement on that list!! :)
On to what's been going on. We are teaching a class at our church on Thursday's at 6:30 based upon a book called Orphanology. It went well last week, and we are hoping for the same tonight. There have been good conversations and I'm so proud of Kyle for being open to this and being a total rockstar last week. On May 18th, there is an adoption seminar at a church around the area in Zionsville, and we are going to that. I'm so so excited to go and meet some families, and learn more about what our life could and will be like. Our neighbor is also going, so we are looking forward to that as well. :)
That kind of stuff just gets me excited, I want to go to every conference, every state just to meet people and their families, anything to be involved in this world we are going to be in. I've been really trying to find out what my passion is lately. My number one passion is to be a mommy and be a good one. I feel like that's what God has made me to be. But... I can't do that right now. Not yet anyway, so I'm searching who I am and what I'm supposed to be and be doing. I love dreaming and dreaming big, but it sure can be scary at times. I want to learn how to rely on God and listen to Him and what He is telling me to do. I'm hoping and praying that God reveals to me what I'm supposed to be doing while I wait for my babies.
I'm often jealous of Kyle because he is such a natural at what he does, and he is so incredibly talented in what he does. Now, don't get any ideas in asking what exactly he does, because I can't explain it, but I do know he is amazing at it, and his co-workers and even his CEO think very highly of him. They are honored to be working with him. I love where he works too... almost all the men there are Christians, they have great families, and are just such a blessing to be around. I'm so beyond proud of my husband and all that he does for our family now and our family to be. He plans and provides in ways I never could.
As I start down this new journey I hope I learn a lot about what's around me, the people around me, and especially who I am. I know God has wired me to be who I am, I just need to find my place.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Spicing it Up
Not a whole lot to be updating on, but just thought I'd throw something out.
I decided to spice up my page a bit and added a couple things. I was feeling a little smart and thought I'd try to some things out. I changed up the color and the font and placed things in different places. Hopefully things will be easier to see and find. I added a button to my Etsy site. I don't know if I really told anyone but after we did our fundraising with Ordinary Hero I sent a picture of the thank you's I made to one of the girls who I had been in contact with. She had asked me to make 300 cards and donate them to the OH store. I made 100 Africa themed Thank You's, 100 China themed Thank You's and 100 generic Thank You's. They are actually featured this week in the store for the OH Grant Contest going on right now. If you want to pop over there and purchase any, don't forget to choose my name on the drop down box under affiliate. If you want wait, that'd be great too!! We opened up my Etsy site and those cards and many others will be on the site and ready for you to buy soon. :) All the proceeds will be going straight to our adoption account. I also added a donate button if anyone feels led to do so.
As Kyle and I have gone down this road, we have wanted to do many things to encourage other people to adopt and just make people more aware of what's going on around us. We have thought about ideas, but never really settled on anything. Today at church one of our pastors who actually adopted 4 out of the 5 of his children was open to talk to us. I told him I've been reading a book called Orphanology and there was a Bible Study/Small Group Study to go along with it. They have something at our church called Northview University with different types of classes, and he asked us to pray about leading a class in about 5 weeks. We will be praying and researching and see what God calls us to do with this opportunity. :)
Kyle and I have also envisioned the type of family we see for some reason. We always saw a baby boy and a toddler girl. Now, we always say, if we were pregnant we wouldn't get to choose which gender. I also really wanted to have a gender reveal party and make it so much fun. However we have made the choice to bring home one of each. So, we are planning for a boy and a girl. :) We are so excited, and we still don't know for sure what the ages will be, but we are pretty sure it will be baby boy and toddler girl. We are very thrilled and will still probably throw some kind of gender party just for fun.
Some prayer requests:
For the Southern Region to open up soon.
For direction in our church and leading the class I talked earlier about.
To be chosen for a fundraising and grant we are applying for.
Most importantly for our children and their mothers. The infant is probably not born yet, and possibly not even conceived, so just for healthiness of the mother and peace for our children. We pray for this every night before we go to bed, but I'd love for others to jump on too. :)
Happy 23 hour day friends!! ;)
I decided to spice up my page a bit and added a couple things. I was feeling a little smart and thought I'd try to some things out. I changed up the color and the font and placed things in different places. Hopefully things will be easier to see and find. I added a button to my Etsy site. I don't know if I really told anyone but after we did our fundraising with Ordinary Hero I sent a picture of the thank you's I made to one of the girls who I had been in contact with. She had asked me to make 300 cards and donate them to the OH store. I made 100 Africa themed Thank You's, 100 China themed Thank You's and 100 generic Thank You's. They are actually featured this week in the store for the OH Grant Contest going on right now. If you want to pop over there and purchase any, don't forget to choose my name on the drop down box under affiliate. If you want wait, that'd be great too!! We opened up my Etsy site and those cards and many others will be on the site and ready for you to buy soon. :) All the proceeds will be going straight to our adoption account. I also added a donate button if anyone feels led to do so.
As Kyle and I have gone down this road, we have wanted to do many things to encourage other people to adopt and just make people more aware of what's going on around us. We have thought about ideas, but never really settled on anything. Today at church one of our pastors who actually adopted 4 out of the 5 of his children was open to talk to us. I told him I've been reading a book called Orphanology and there was a Bible Study/Small Group Study to go along with it. They have something at our church called Northview University with different types of classes, and he asked us to pray about leading a class in about 5 weeks. We will be praying and researching and see what God calls us to do with this opportunity. :)
Kyle and I have also envisioned the type of family we see for some reason. We always saw a baby boy and a toddler girl. Now, we always say, if we were pregnant we wouldn't get to choose which gender. I also really wanted to have a gender reveal party and make it so much fun. However we have made the choice to bring home one of each. So, we are planning for a boy and a girl. :) We are so excited, and we still don't know for sure what the ages will be, but we are pretty sure it will be baby boy and toddler girl. We are very thrilled and will still probably throw some kind of gender party just for fun.
Some prayer requests:
For the Southern Region to open up soon.
For direction in our church and leading the class I talked earlier about.
To be chosen for a fundraising and grant we are applying for.
Most importantly for our children and their mothers. The infant is probably not born yet, and possibly not even conceived, so just for healthiness of the mother and peace for our children. We pray for this every night before we go to bed, but I'd love for others to jump on too. :)
Happy 23 hour day friends!! ;)
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